Uncharted is one of those movies that I figured would never be made, as if it was more of a dream than a possibility. After all, rumblings surrounding a potential film adaptation of the hit action-adventure video game series have existed since 2008. Acclaimed filmmakers like David O’Russell, Neil Burger, and more recently, Travis Knight, were all attached to direct this movie at some point, and even more individuals have tried to write the dang thing. Usually when this happens, if the film’s made, the finished product is a muddled mess. Even though there were reasons to be optimistic that wouldn’t be the case this time, I’m sorry to report that this adaptation is almost as poor as the gameplay in Drake’s Fortune.* For those unfamiliar with the games, I’m saying that Uncharted is quite unsatisfactory.

As I said, there were reasons to be optimistic about this movie. Let’s start with the always likeable Tom Holland, who plays the iconic main character of Uncharted series, Nathan Drake. I’ve never seen Holland give a performance that I’d call substandard, as his youthful energy and good-looks make him a rather agreeable lead, and this is no exception. His casting here was a no-brainer, and he brings more to the party than merely guaranteed box office success. While one could argue that Holland is miscast due to his age and physique, I enjoyed his take on Nathan Drake. He doesn’t quite master the wry sarcasm of the video game character, but he comports himself well enough in the action scenes to convince fans of the video games of his worthiness. That being said, Holland’s casting necessitated a major re-write of the script, forcing an origin story on us that the filmmakers don’t seem particularly keen to tell.

Those familiar with the games know that Nathan Drake is in his mid-30s when the series begins, but Tom Holland is only in his mid-20s. For an unimaginative Hollywood producer, this meant that an origin story was the only route to take in this case. As a result, all of the video game characters had to be aged down accordingly, including Victor “Sully” Sullivan, Nathan’s mentor and treasure-hunting partner. This was good news for Mark Wahlberg, who was originally in line to play Nathan Drake before aging himself out of contention due to the stalled production process. But now, Wahlberg gets to play Sully, or at least that’s what it says in the credits. In actuality, Wahlberg just plays a version of Mark Wahlberg that everyone calls Sully. I don’t know if this was a deliberate choice by the actor, or if it stems from some frustration over being relegated to a supporting player, but his performance entirely lacks the energy and nuance it required. Maybe he too never wanted to tell an origin story, because it certainly feels that way.

Why do I keep harping on the origin story element? Well, mainly because it’s a completely unnecessary framework for an Uncharted movie that was always going to be unworkable, and it seems like those involved in the production knew that. This idea that Nate would ever say no to Sully’s proposition to join him on is nonsense. Of course he’s going to come along on this adventure to find the long-lost gold of Magellan’s crew; otherwise, there wouldn’t be a story. This is probably why this section of the film feels deliberately rushed, and that made me contemplate if it was even necessary at all. Upon review… it definitely wasn’t.**

With more tact, an origin story with Sully and Nathan could work, but what we get is one in which Sully is nothing more than an uninspiring conman. Early on, he displays some skills at pickpocketing, but after that, he basically goes, “Here kid, you do everything and I’ll just complain about it”. I immediately found myself pondering why Nate would ever team up with this guy again after this adventure concludes, and that thinking never really changed, even when Sully performed some heroics in the final act. You’d think the screenwriters would’ve considered this ahead of time and had him slowly become more reliable and trustworthy over the course of the movie. You know, that little thing called a character arc? Instead, Sully and pretty much everyone else but Nathan remain in backstabbing mode throughout. Sure, that makes for a somewhat unpredictable tale of modern swashbuckling. However, it really doesn’t work all that well in an origin story where our protagonist is supposed to be forging lifelong friendships.

Honestly, maybe Nate would’ve been better off partnering with the film’s antagonist, Santiago Moncada, played by Antonio Banderas. In limited screen time, Banderas manages to make Moncada an engrossing and relatable villain, who’s just trying to reclaim the gold that he feels belongs to his family in order to prove himself to his father. Other than hiring murderous mercenaries, Moncada isn’t shown to be chaotically evil in any way. Given his motives, he may be the most honest character in the movie besides Nathan, which may or may not be intentional. Either way, Banderas’ take on the character could’ve been even more fascinating with additional screen time. Sadly, the filmmakers wanted to give his head henchman, Braddock (Tati Gabrielle), equal billing. Braddock is a scary combination of beautiful, fierce, and ruthless, but that’s about it for her character. I liked her, but not nearly as much as Moncada.

With lackluster character development and scripting, the only things left to save Uncharted are its action and adventure scenes, of which there are many. On one hand, some of the smaller sequences are actually pretty good, especially the ones where Holland gets to do his own stunts, like a brief but exhilarating hand-to-hand scrap behind a nightclub bar. On the other hand, the bigger set-pieces, like the cargo plane sequence and the airborne ship battle, noticeably lack punch and urgency. In truth, all of the action in the film is devoid of the video games’ bone-crunching violence, which is a letdown. I’m not saying they had to go full Rated R here, but this is as toothless and bloodless as PG-13 action gets. Most Marvel movies are grittier, and like Marvel movies, Uncharted is inundated with CGI/VFX. I know that some of the action scenes were pulled straight from the games and thusly, they would’ve been impossible to do with practical stunts and effects. But for the sequences not from the games, I would’ve appreciated a bit more physical effort over digital effort.

As for the adventure scenes, they’re a bit better than the action ones. The entire second act is mostly dedicated to a treasure hunt featuring Nathan, Sully, and one of Sully’s old acquaintances, Chloe Frazier (Sophia Ali).*** While one too many of the requisite clues and puzzles seemed overly easy to solve, they still scratched the adventure itch that I get when watching this genre. My main complaint is that a number of the clues were way too conspicuous, to the point that I wondered how no one had accidentally stumbled upon them over the past 500 years. This is a pedantic gripe, but one that I doubt I’m alone in having.

Uncharted somewhat resembles the video games that it adapts, but that’s about as far as I’ll go in complimenting it. As a movie, it’s messy, shallow, and thoroughly fails to come close to other films in the genre, like Indiana Jones or even National Treasure. From the get-go, its origin story feels forced and unnecessary, and its character work does nothing to resolve this issue. The action, which could’ve saved it, is overly laden with CGI and lacks the grittiness required to get people’s blood pumping. Even the solid performances from Holland and Banderas fail to add any stakes or emotional impact to this subpar story. I now know why this movie was recycled, rewritten, and passed on so many times over the past 14 years. If I were a filmmaker, I wouldn’t want to create something so safe, uninspired, and purely manufactured to make money. And I especially wouldn’t want to make it when the video games it’s based on were the exact opposite of that.****

If I had to score it, I’d give Uncharted a 3/10.

Notes:

* I have played through all of the Uncharted video games, and I draw on that experience throughout my review. I tried to scrutinize this movie on its own, but I acknowledge that my fondness for the games affected my opinions to a degree.

** To clarify, the movie does use Nathan’s missing older brother, Sam, as a motivating factor, which could’ve been an engaging hook. In fact, the only part of Nate’s origin that I enjoyed, in one of the movie’s best scenes, is when we see a young Nathan and his brother share a moment in an orphanage 15 years prior to the main story. But then Sam runs away, and Nathan… becomes a bartender? I didn’t understand this part, since they established that Nate knows about Magellan’s treasure and his brother’s quest to find it. Sam even sends him countless postcards, for Pete’s sake. Why didn’t Nate go after his brother if cares so much about reconnecting with him? Wouldn’t it make more sense if Nate instigates his own adventure and runs into Sully along the way? At least then he would likely need Sully for something, rather than the other way around, providing a logical reason for him to put up with Sully’s dubiousness.

*** Chloe Frazier is one of my favorite characters from the video games, and I felt that Sophia Ali did an above-average job capturing her presence and personality. I fully believe Ali was the right choice for the role, and with time and better scripts, she might even deserve her own spin-off. After all, Uncharted: The Lost Legacy was an awesome standalone expansion that proved Chloe can hold her own as a protagonist. I think Ali could do the same.

**** It occurs to me now that this is just a superhero movie with an Uncharted theme thrown on top of it. It’s sad that film producers trust their audiences so little these days that they feel this is the only route they can take to be profitable.