Why do I keep watching Liam Neeson movies? Maybe it’s the tradition of watching nearly every one for fifteen years, or maybe it’s simply cinematic masochism. Whatever the reason, it’s why I decided to watch Retribution, Neeson’s latest action thriller that’s about as ineffectual as, well, most of his stuff nowadays. An amalgam that’s about eighty percent Phone Booth and twenty percent Speed, Retribution is a derivative mess that’s mostly devoid of the risks and stakes that made the films it copies successful.

When financier Matt Turner (Liam Neeson) takes his kids to school in Berlin one morning, he receives a call from a man with a distorted voice. This man tells Matt that there’s a bomb with a pressure switch under his seat, and that if they try to get out of the vehicle or contact the police, it’ll detonate. To protect his children, Matt undertakes a series of increasingly dangerous tasks for the man, culminating in an explosive finale. Or at least, a finale that might be explosive if you still give a crap about anything by the time it comes to pass.

Retribution falters because it opts for a focus on character over thrill. There’s a lot of time spent getting to know Matt, his loving daughter Emily (Lilly Aspell), and his disobedient son Zach (Jack Champion). It makes sense; they are the three in the Mercedes SUV that the majority of the film takes place in. The problem is, not a single one of them feels real. Neeson seems entirely too old to have children like this, and his tough-guy persona doesn’t translate well to financial expert. Lilly is a decent imitation of a young teenage girl, with an emphasis on imitation. And then there’s Zach, who’s annoying not because he’s rebellious, but because he’s bland and useless. Neither he nor Lilly contribute much to the proceedings beyond being dramatic collateral damage in the case their father screws up and the car goes boom. Personally, I prefer the mano-a-mano approach of Phone Booth, which keeps everything a lot more focused and intense.

Now, if Retribution featured exhilarating car chases and hard-edged dialogue, then the bland characterization would be considerably more forgivable. Sadly, there’s really only one car chase, and it’s shot like a set piece in a second-rate TV show rather than a Hollywood blockbuster. On the whole, the action is bloodless and inappropriately benign. Also, it was bizarre to me how little swearing was done by those involved, especially Matt. When Zach is being a douche and not getting in the car before school, it didn’t make sense for Matt not to yell “get your f**kin’ ass in here!” or something of that sort. Later on, when the bomb is armed, everyone is improbably nonplussed. In that same scenario, I’m not sure if I’d be hysterical, but I definitely think my language would reflect my amplified anxiety and frustration. There’s a reason that Phone Booth and Speed were rated R; that rating allows for the kind of violence and dialogue required to make a thriller like this believable.

In the end, Retribution is a stinker, but not a complete and utter disaster. While often dull and unmoving, there are occasional moments – normally involving pyrotechnics – where things get fun. Neeson occasionally shows some of the grit he’s famous for, and supporting actor Matthew Modine gives a satisfyingly campy turn. Still, Retribution’s script is quite poor, with its emphasis on family over titillation severely hampering it at every turn. I also hated its ending, but to avoid spoiling things, that’s all I’ll say about that. Why do I keep watching Liam Neeson movies? I’m still not sure, but I know now that Retribution is my retribution for continuing to.

If I had to score it, I’d give Retribution a 4/10.