If you browse through my other reviews, then you’ll probably notice that I tend to stick to a handful of genres: action, horror, mystery, etc. That being said, if the mood strikes me, I will occasionally veer into unfamiliar territory, especially when a film unknown to me is receiving heaps of praise. That’s exactly what happened with Past Lives, a romantic drama from first-time director Celine Song, who also wrote its screenplay. Normally, I’d avoid a romantic movie by default, but something about this one’s apparent verisimilitude drew me to it, in addition to the glowing reviews. Having seen it, I’m almost speechless. Past Lives is nearly beyond reproach. It’s my kind of romantic film, but to be fair, calling it a “romance” is pretty reductive.

24 years ago in Seoul, twelve-year-olds Na Young and Hae Sung are incredibly close, to the extent that first crush may in fact be first love. This relationship ends abuptly when Na Young immigrates to Canada with her family, where she changes her name to Nora. Twelve years later, Nora (Greta Lee), now living in New York to become a writer, and Hae Sung (Teo Yoo), who’s still in Seoul, reconnect via social media. Eventually, Nora meets Arthur (John Magaro), a fellow writer with whom she soon becomes intimate. Another twelve years pass, and now, Nora and Arthur are married and living in Manhattan. Having fallen out of touch with his childhood friend, Hae Sung decides to visit Nora in NYC. Upon his arrival, the three of them begin to confront their complicated connections, forcing them to speculate about true love, destiny, and what might have been. 

Most of us have seen movies that feature some sort of lost-love or old-love-rekindled storyline. I’ve seen it rehashed plenty of times, even in films targeted at men (like Pearl Harbor…ugh). My problem with this kind of story, and romance as a genre, is that it generally devolves into one sappy scene after another between two unrealistically gorgeous people. I get why people enjoy that stuff, but for me, it comes off as too inauthentic. Authenticity is why I became so invested in Past Lives; by the end of its first act, it’s quite apparent that this tale is one grounded in realism and nuance. Nora, Hae Sung, and Arthur have conversations that real people would have, and probably have had, in their situation. As a result, the film actually has something to say, and my goodness, did its message(s) knock me on my ass.

As a man, the first thing that jumped out at me when I watched Past Lives was how unusually considerate and true the male characters felt. Celine Song side-steps the traditional male archetype used in romance fiction and draws up two entirely different-yet-similar men that feel thoroughly lived-in. Hae Sung is the most openly romantic of the characters, and his pursuit of Nora always feels endearing and sincere, rather than creepy or sexual. I really rooted for him, but then I got to know Arthur, who’s a good dude as well. He’s also a romantic person, but his writer-side makes him thoughtful in a manner that’s different from Hae Sung. And it’s not just their personalities that makes them interesting and sympathetic; they also share certain insecurities that all men face. Relatable doubts about their occupation, income, and desirability clearly eat away at both of them. All of this means that Past Lives isn’t some shallow story in which one guy is obviously better than the other. It’s not a tired “best man wins” kind of yarn where two oafs vie for the affection of an alluring woman. Celine Song respects men too much for that.

As engaging as the men are, the person with the most at stake in Past Lives is Nora. Ripped away from Hae Sung at a young age, she’s worked furiously to integrate and succeed in North America. Imagine being in her shoes: do you take a flyer and pursue your childhood love, or do you focus on the career and life you’ve built from nothing? It’s easy for us to say do this or do that, but Celine Song knows that it’s a much harder decision for a real-life woman. In a world in which women are encouraged to reach new heights, love is often a lot simpler for men (i.e. less sacrifice). This movie made me understand that better, and in doing so, allowed me to relate to a female character in a way that I never have before.

If Past Lives has any flaws, it’s that Nora is often a bit unreadable, a trait that’s usually reserved for stoic male leads. It’s strange, and refreshing, to see the guys throw a lot of a film’s emotional punches, but Nora needed to get a few more jabs in herself. I found myself squirming in my seat, eagerly waiting for her to say more. To be fair, in my experience, real women are often a lot less demonstrative than they are shown to be in fiction. I’m sure that Song was merely trying to reflect that in her characterization of Nora. Still, her opacity can get to be irritating at times, and I foresee some viewers feeling gradually less sympathy for Nora as the movie progresses.

Before I toss more compliments Song’s way, I want to quickly acknowledge how incredible the performances are in Past Lives. Despite being occasionally too reserved, Nora is always a compelling protagonist thanks to Greta Lee’s assured, first-rate acting. Her performance is up there with the best I’ve seen from any actress in 2023. Lee’s male counterparts are no slouches either. Teo Yoo makes Hae Sung an affable and complex character, demonstrating his skills as an actor. I hope to see more from him soon. Lastly, there’s John Magaro, who is certainly the third wheel here in terms of screen-time. Nonetheless, his performance is arguably the most impactful. He has a scene with Lee in the third act that is probably the most dramatic in the whole film, and it takes place entirely on a bed. He should be a front runner for Best Supporting Actor, but that’s not to say that Lee and Yoo aren’t worthy of recognition as well. All three of them deserve award consideration.

However, Celine Song probably deserves the most credit for her surehanded direction and insightful script. Direction-wise, it’s instantly apparent that a poised artist was behind the camera. She and cinematographer Shabier Kirchner craft an aesthetic that’s both ethereal and bleak, and undoubtedly eye-catching. Ultimately, though, it’s her script that wins the day. As I’ve already pointed out, there’s shocking realism to Hae Sung and Arthur, and intense conflict for Nora. But there’s also so much more than that; so many levels to dissect and ponder. This is why I stated earlier that it’s reductive to call Past Lives a romance. Sure, there’s a romantic angle to its plot, but Song uses it more as a tool that builds thought-provoking drama in each and every scene.*

Past Lives is everything that I and other critics claim it to be: it’s nearly flawless. That said, and I wrote the same thing in my last review of an A24 production, it’s not a film that everyone will enjoy. It isn’t designed to be a popcorn flick; it’s an introspective study of love and an extrospective study of our unfeeling world. If that sounds mundane to you, then you might want to skip Past Lives. But if that sounds better to you than mushy chatter and kissing in the rain, then you’re like me and should definitely add this to your queue.

If I had to score it, I’d give Past Lives a 9/10.

Notes:

* The most thought-provoking question that Past Lives hints at is this: can, or should, true love be prioritized in our modern, capitalist world? I won’t spoil the answer that the movie gives, but it goes without saying that it’s complicated. Also, there are a few subtle nods to growing anti-Asian/anti-immigrant sentiments that were included in a non-preachy kind of way. I appreciated the tact.