After the hot freakin’ mess that was 6 Underground, I was in no rush to watch another Michael Bay movie. It’s been over two years since that garbage and I’m still reeling from how bad it was. Needless to say, I was a bit tentative before convincing myself to watch Ambulance, despite the moderately positive feedback it was receiving from reviewers I respect. Normally, Bay movies are overly indulgent, loud, and vulgar, but occasionally he self-edits and creates something full of humanity and zeal. I’m relieved to write that Ambulance mostly resembles the latter, mostly.

Right off the bat, I appreciated how quickly Bay shifted this movie from setup to action. USMC veteran Will Sharp (Yahya Abdul-Mateen II) needs money for an experimental, life-saving procedure for his wife, and since the insurance company won’t help, he’s forced to turn to the only person who will. That person is his adoptive brother and lifelong criminal, Danny Sharp (Jake Gyllenhaal), who immediately, and I mean literally immediately, recruits Will for a 32-million-dollar bank heist in downtown Los Angeles. Will, Danny, and his rag-tag crew kick off the heist without a hitch, but then it all goes sideways when Police Officer Zach (Jackson White) interrupts them mid-crime. Long story short, Zach gets shot, an ambulance arrives to take him to the hospital, and Danny and Will hijack that ambulance in order to escape. It’s a solid, uncomplicated setup for an action movie, and all of this happens in a rapid 20-25 minutes.

If you’ve seen the trailers for Ambulance, you might think that this is Jake Gyllenhaal’s movie first and foremost, but that’s actually not the case.* In fact, Eiza Gonzalez, who plays the EMT that the brothers kidnap, is actually just as front and center as Gyllenhaal and Abdul-Mateen II. Her character, named Cam Thompson, is the true hero of this film, and she’s a damn good one. Gonzalez plays a similar role to the one that Keanu Reeves played in the 1994 action-thriller Speed, in that she’s forced to contend with a number of obstacles while staying alive on a nonstop vehicle. Cam is one of the better heroines I’ve seen in an action flick in quite some time, which is rather shocking given that this is a Michael Bay movie. He’s not exactly regarded for his female character work, and the fact that he doesn’t sexualize her in the slightest shows that Bay is capable of restraint and tact from time to time.

Going back to my Speed analogy (one I’m sure others have made), if Gonzalez’s Cam is Keanu, then Abdul-Mateen II’s Will is Sandra Bullock.** It’s an apt comparison, considering that Will’s job for the most of the movie is to drive the ambulance while occasionally aiding Cam to save Zach’s life, while also enduring Danny’s constant outbursts. Unlike Bullock’s character though, Will is a bit more than just a sidekick, as he’s compelled to work with both Cam and Danny equally, thus burdening him with an intriguing internal conflict. At his core, Will is a loyal and upstanding individual, and Abdul-Mateen II sells this every second he’s on screen. Even though I often found his obstinate righteousness to be frustrating, it never stopped me from rooting for the guy. Wait, Michael Bay has not one, but two likeable protagonists? What is this, The Rock?***

Then there’s Danny, who in many ways is Ambulance’s antagonist, even though he’s neither outright evil nor beyond redemption. He is, however, the only of the three primary characters who cares more about the money than saving Zach’s life, which means he often butts heads with Cam and Will. Before I go on, I feel it’s important to note that Gyllenhaal gave a first-rate performance in this movie. Unfortunately, Danny is the most Michael Bay-ish main character in the film, as his random eruptions of anger, while perhaps situationally appropriate, strip him of the agreeability that makes Cam and Will shine. Fitting examples of this are all the scenes in which Danny interacts with Castro (Wale), a minor side character who’s supposed to add humor to the flick. Castro feels like a someone straight out the Fast and Furious franchise, while Danny feels like, well, someone from Ambulance, a movie that mostly plays it straight. The two don’t go together, and therefore they only serve to weaken each other’s appeal, and thusly the movie on the whole.

However, Danny and Castro aren’t the only characters who exhibit Bay-like qualities. Take the police for example, led by the dog-loving Captain Monroe (Garret Dillahunt) and the virtually useless FBI Agent Anson Clark (Keir O’Donnell). Don’t get me wrong, neither Dillahunt nor O’Donnell give poor performances in any way; it’s their characters that suck. For example, Monroe owns this big dog that actually affects the story a bit, for some reason. It’s not funny or necessary, nor is Monroe’s slightly humorous dialogue with his tech expert. And then there’s Anson Clark, the biggest waste of screen time of the lot. He’s presumably included to offer background details on Danny, but I saw no reason why Danny’s arrest record couldn’t have revealed that stuff. You already have the somewhat workable Monroe, so why not combine both characters and save five minutes of runtime?

All this being said, most people come to a Bay movie for the action rather than the characters, and Ambulance is chock full of what those people want. Bay is known for car chases and explosions, and this film is essentially one long car chase with dozens of explosions. As an action buff, I know I can always rely on Bay to use practical effects over CGI whenever it’s possible, and he doesn’t let me down here in that regard. I found myself kind of stunned by how many actual car crashes and explosions there were in Ambulance, and hey, he even used blanks and squibs most of the time. Unlike a lot of other action movies today, the violence in this one actually has teeth. My only complaint about it has to do with the geography of his set-pieces. To elaborate, I was often confused about where certain characters were in relation to others during shootouts, or where certain cars were compared to others during chase sequences. Sure, Bay’s method definitely adds tension and unpredictability to action scenes, but it also gives me a headache.

Despite the mind-numbing violence that’s packed into the rather messy final act, I found myself quite invested as the story wrapped up. I didn’t expect to form a connection with Cam, Danny, and Will, and I certainly didn’t notice myself doing so throughout Ambulance’s overly long runtime. But then the ending came, and I realized that I gave a crap about these characters. I had the exact same thing happen to me when I watched 13 Hours, another of Bay’s movies. It just goes to show, sometimes the filmmaker knows what he’s doing in this regard, forging some real emotional connections between his characters on-screen, as well as between his audience and said characters.  

All in all, I had a surprisingly decent time watching Ambulance, and it should be regarded as one of Bay’s better films, alongside The Rock, 13 Hours, and The Island.**** I should also give credit to the screenwriter, Chris Fedak, who adapted the original Danish film in a way that allows it to resonate with American viewers. His three main characters are well-drawn, and the respective performances by the film’s stars are uniformly good. The action is similarly well-done, even if it’s irritatingly frenetic most of the time. And yes, there are a number of immature jokes that clash with the tone, but Bay gonna Bay. The key is for Bay not to go full-Bay, and with Ambulance, he’s refreshingly restrained.

If I had to score it, I’d give Ambulance a 6/10.

Notes:

* Of the cast, Gyllenhaal’s name is the only one featured in the initial end-credits, which definitely feels wrong given how prominent his co-leads are. Abdul-Mateen II and Gonzalez are done dirty by those credits.

** I didn’t want to continue to harp on how similar this movie and Speed are, but they really are. There’s even a scene that’s just like the one where Keanu has to defuse a bomb under the bus while being coached by an expert. In Ambulance, it’s a medical procedure instead, but it’s pretty much the same thing. Hey, if you’re going to rip off something, rip off something good. And Speed is very good.

*** Michael Bay includes a reference to The Rock, his own 1996 film, in this movie. I mean, who does that?

**** I know a lot of people dislike The Island, but come on, it’s one of Bay’s most engaging and restrained movies. The first 30 minutes alone make it one of his best… but wait, the 30-minute attack scene in Pearl Harbor is amazing, does that mean Pearl Harbor is good? Well… shit.